When people ask me how I\u2019m doing in quarantine, I tell them I can\u2019t complain.\u00a0 And that\u2019s the absolute truth. From the South Florida sun to food in my fridge to my healthy hubby and kids, I have so very much to be grateful for. I\u2019d venture to say you do, too.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But that doesn\u2019t mean every day is peachy. Heck no. Personally, I find that the weekdays are the worst. Each weekday morning, I summon every ounce of willpower I have from every part of my body and use it to make distance learning fun and interesting for my 6-year-old, who is, at any given moment, throwing himself on the floor and whining about how boring I am. Meanwhile, I\u2019m\u00a0 also fielding periodic interruptions from my 7-year-old, who insists that her math assignment \u201cdoesn\u2019t make any sense\u201d (it always does make sense, by the way, and that\u2019s coming from a math-illiterate lawyer), or to announce to her brother and I that she\u2019s not going to distract him from his school work … thereby distracting him from his schoolwork with that very announcement.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Once that titillating fun is over and \u201cschool\u201d is dismissed, I climb onto my creaky desk stool to log on to my laptop and do some lawyering. Then at 5:30 PM, I stuff my face with cheese, crackers and Chardonnay in between chopping and saut\u00e9ing dinner or, if it\u2019s my husband\u2019s turn to cook, I do the cheese-cracker-Chardonnay stuffing in front of an HGTV \u201cLove It or List It\u201d marathon. Sometimes I fold laundry in the quiet sanctuary of my bedroom as a treat to myself.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
I mean, couldn\u2019t you just swoon?\u00a0<\/p>\n
So yeah, when people ask me how I\u2019m doing in quarantine, you know what else I tell them? I cry a little every day. Every. Single. Day. And you know what else? I\u2019m not ashamed of it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
I cry when my kids don\u2019t listen to me. I cry when I cook something delicious and those little buggers tell me it\u2019s gross. I cry because I have writer\u2019s block and have lost the book-writing momentum I had before this quarantine started. I cry because my business isn\u2019t taking off as quickly as I would like it to. I cry because people keep dying. I cry because I\u2019m touched by people who are beautiful and generous and are doing everything they can to make the world keep turning. I cry because, in general, I feel like I\u2019m failing at everything.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Are you feeling that way too?<\/p>\n
As moms, we tend to put such intense pressure on ourselves to always keep it \u201ctogether.\u201d But listen, Girlfriend, it\u2019s absolutely OK to cry. Being upset with yourself for crying is kind of like berating yourself for having to pee. And yes, I agree that there\u2019s a time and a place for everything. I don\u2019t walk around blubbering all day and night without regard for my surroundings. I don\u2019t fall to pieces in front of my kids at every turn.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t hold it in, either. When I need to release the tears, I give myself that release. I vent freely to my best friends and my husband. I don\u2019t care what I sound like or how totally not \u201ctogether\u201d I seem. I need to get it out.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And so do you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
You must get out your frustration, disappointment and anger. Maybe you do that by giving yourself a good cry in the bathroom. Maybe you scream into your pillow or your husband\u2019s chest. Maybe you give it up to God.\u00a0 Whatever you do, get it out.\u00a0<\/em>If you don\u2019t, you\u2019re only prolonging the inevitable. That emotion will<\/em> find a way out. Trust me. And by then, it will have festered into a nasty, pus-filled abscess. Do yourself a solid and embrace the cry. It might look ugly for a hot minute but you\u2019ll feel so much better after.<\/p>\n Remember that you are doing your very best. (Of course you are! You didn\u2019t wake up today plotting all the ways you could be mediocre! Come on). You\u2019re in completely uncharted territory. For the first time, all at the same time, you are a mom, wife, teacher, cook, cleaning lady and general fixer-of-all-situations – and probably also an employee or business owner. You don\u2019t have to be perfect.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n So the next time you leave breakfast cooking on the stove and then forget about it until it\u2019s smoking, and run into the kitchen screaming obscenities only to realize your kid is on a Google Meet video conference at the kitchen table with her entire class, give yourself some grace if you burst into tears afterward. You\u2019ll be stronger for it when this is all over.<\/p>\n We\u2019re gonna be OK, girlfriend.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n
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