Holiday stress (or any kind of stress for that matter) is our mind and body\u2019s response to the pressing responsibilities and demands of our lives. Stress is normal. When we experience a threat\u2014whether it\u2019s holiday traffic, passive-aggressive family members, or a family fight over Christmas dinner\u2014our brain floods our bodies with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Our bodies prepare to take action. Our heart rate spikes. Our pupils dilate. Our muscles tighten.\u00a0<\/p>\n
In the short term, stress can be helpful. It keeps us focused and alert. But living in a chronic state of stress causes horrific damage to our mental and physical health. It\u2019s like slamming your foot on the gas and the brakes at the same time. Eventually, the car engine melts, the brakes fail, and we run the car into the ground.\u00a0<\/p>\n The holidays should be wonderful, but they\u2019re often demanding. And in light of all the extra shopping lists, the travel plans, the awkward family conversations, and the millions of little expectations we place on ourselves, this season will require that we give ourselves and others some grace\u2014a lot of it.\u00a0<\/p>\n Stressful events will happen, make no mistake, but here\u2019s the exciting thing: We get to choose how we respond to those events.\u00a0<\/p>\n And let\u2019s be honest: 2020 was filled with financial challenges, travel restrictions, health concerns, and political nonsense, among other things. This makes Christmas 2020 the perfect time for a holiday season reset. Holidays shouldn\u2019t be stressful and so filled with drama. By taking back control of your attitude, your approach to conflict, and your actions, you can cut holiday stress in purposeful and dramatic ways! \u00a0<\/p>\n A few years ago, Healthline did a survey that found that 62% of people said their stress level increases during the holiday season.1<\/sup><\/a>\u00a0And that was before the chaos of 2020! Imagine that number after experiencing job losses, health crises, a global pandemic, an election and canceled . . . everything.\u00a0<\/p>\n The American Psychological Association has shone a light on America\u2019s mental health in their latest\u00a0Stress in America<\/a>\u00a0survey. They found that 78% of Americans are stressed out about the coronavirus.2<\/sup><\/a>\u00a0They also found that one in five adults are worse off mentally now than they were this time last year.3<\/sup><\/a>\u00a0Makes sense, right?<\/p>\n This year, let\u2019s put in some extra effort to get our minds and hearts in a good place before we head to Mom and Dad\u2019s house for Christmas dinner. Refusing to let stress run your life is a\u00a0daily<\/em>\u00a0choice.\u00a0<\/p>\n To help you along your journey, I want to share 13 ways you can reduce the holiday stress (before it comes) so you can spend your time on what really matters to you.<\/p>\n Over the holidays, you get to decide where you go, how long you stay there, who you invite into your home, and how much money you\u2019ll spend. It might feel like your mom, your father-in-law or your second cousin will be calling the shots.\u00a0<\/p>\n Wrong. You choose.\u00a0<\/p>\n It\u2019s so important to set boundaries before you\u2019re knee-deep in Christmas festivities. The last thing you want is to find yourself talking politics with an idiotic second cousin or making your fifth gingerbread house for the church bake sale and using resentment as frosting. Let me repeat myself: Choose to set your boundaries\u00a0now<\/em>! Decide what\u2019s important to you and protect it with everything you\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n Before you commit to travel or hosting plans, decide what your limit is. Is it three days? What about two weeks? If you\u2019re married, talk to your spouse and create a plan that works for both of you.<\/p>\n By the way . . . don\u2019t drive or fly thousands of miles to a place that\u2019s inhospitable and threatening. You can say no. Just don\u2019t go. But once you decide and commit to seeing family, you must do it with a good attitude. It\u2019s called acting like a grown-up.\u00a0<\/p>\n Holidays expose our need for boundaries with our families. Even the best families can drive you crazy.\u00a0<\/p>\n So this year, before you even pack your bags, spend some time thinking about the potential conflicts that will pop up with family. If your Uncle Eddy has a pattern of talking bad about a particular group of people, don\u2019t be surprised when he begins one of his rants. You can\u2019t change him\u2014but you\u00a0do<\/em>\u00a0get to decide how you respond. You can ask him to stop, or you can get up and leave. Settle in your heart and your mind what you will and won\u2019t tolerate. \u00a0<\/p>\n This year, people will be talking about politics, COVID, the economy, race relations, etc. Decide who and what you want to discuss before you\u2019re stuffing your face with mashed potatoes at the dinner table. Believe it or not, it can be done. You don\u2019t have to subject yourself or your family to a heated argument you don\u2019t want to be in\u2014boundaries, remember?\u00a0<\/p>\n Create a plan of action and send an email ahead of time to make it clear that you don\u2019t want to talk about politics or your little brother\u2019s addiction. And if someone violates that boundary while you\u2019re there, you get to walk out. Pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable, awkward, unsafe, embarrassed or trapped. If someone is drunk or angry or using foul language, you get to decide to walk away.\u00a0<\/p>\n There are only two things on planet Earth you can control: your thoughts and your actions. That\u2019s it. You can\u2019t control what your parents say around the dinner table. You can\u2019t control your kids\u2019 attitudes. And when you choose to let go of what you can\u2019t control, you\u2019ll automatically reduce the amount of stress in your life by refusing to carry other people\u2019s problems. \u00a0<\/p>\n In seasons of stress in my life, the first thing I do every morning is make a list of what I\u2019m stressed about. Then I write down the things that are in my control. Everything else gets tossed in the trash. Take control and ownership of your thoughts and actions and do what\u2019s best for you and your family.\u00a0<\/p>\n Sometimes we experience stress by taking on roles we were never meant to shoulder. For example, if you\u2019re going to your girlfriend\u2019s house for Christmas and you have to sleep on the uncomfortable couch and eat their weird food, remember that you\u2019re not the star of the show. It\u2019s not your house. Keep your mouth shut and know that your role is to support your girlfriend. Not only will you score major brownie points with your girl, but you\u2019ll also score points with the parents.\u00a0<\/p>\n If you travel to your in-laws\u2019 home but they don\u2019t really like you, choose before you arrive to not absorb the passive-aggression, their opinions on your parenting, or their decision to make meals with extra gluten. Choose to be kind. Choose to let dumb criticism roll off your shoulders. Choose to heap coals of kindness. \u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n And if you\u2019re the one inviting your significant other to family dinner, be a gracious host or hostess. Remember that your guest is missing out on their traditions. Ask them what they normally do and recognize they might be a little sad to miss out on time with their family.<\/p>\n I love Christmas as much as the next person, but no matter who you are, it\u2019s\u00a0absurd<\/em>\u00a0to try to attend a million white elephant parties, ornament exchanges, and cookie decorating parties. Especially during COVID.\u00a0<\/p>\n Listen: You can\u2019t be everywhere at once. Be really honest with yourself about what you can handle, and speak up if it\u2019s too much. Instead of going to five Christmas parties, pick one or two. Prioritize your family\u2019s time and only commit to what\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0want to do. It\u2019s all about quality, not quantity.\u00a0<\/p>\n There\u2019s an overwhelming amount of information, nonsense and news in our country right now. Not only do we see it on our TVs, but now we\u2019re seeing it through our social media feeds. It\u2019s literally making us insane.\u00a0<\/p>\n If you hear anything from me, hear this: Stay off social media if you\u2019re stressed. Those perfect Instagram and Pinterest feeds won\u2019t do anything but cause you to compare your holiday plans to your weird co-worker\u2019s (who you don\u2019t really even like anyway). Social media pictures are generally lies. Fantasy. They\u2019re not real. They don\u2019t show the burned turkeys, the family fights, and the mounting piles of credit card debt.\u00a0<\/p>\n This Christmas, spend more time looking into your loved one\u2019s eyes than staring at your screens. Hold hands, not video game controllers. Throw a football or kick a soccer ball\u2014in real life. I hope you choose human connection, joy and laughter over thumbs-ups and retweets. Each one of your electronic devices comes with an off button. Use it.\u00a0<\/p>\n As I said above, this is the perfect year for a holiday reset.<\/p>\n Set expectations for yourself and others by\u00a0painting a picture<\/a>\u00a0of what you want your Christmas to look like. Who is sitting around the table at mealtime? What are you all eating? Talking about? Are you laughing with your kids as you make Santa-shaped pancakes? Or are you holding hands with your spouse in front of the fire? Maybe you dusted off the old vinyl Christmas album and you\u2019re jamming away.\u00a0<\/p>\n Whatever it is, keep that picture at the front of your mind. Share your picture with your loved ones so they can understand where you\u2019re coming from. Ask them to paint a picture of what they want, too, so you can choose to honor them.\u00a0<\/p>\n And if something comes up that threatens to take the place of what\u2019s truly important to you and your family, give yourselves permission to say no. Let your calendar and your to-do list reflect the Christmas you actually\u00a0want<\/em>\u00a0to have this year.<\/p>\n Do it. Right now.\u00a0<\/p>\n A budget is creating boundaries for your wallet (or bank account). And budgeting helps reduce stress because it gives you a plan for your money. Make a\u00a0zero-based budget<\/a>\u00a0every month before the month begins.\u00a0<\/p>\n Remember, you get to control your thoughts and actions\u2014including your spending. You get to decide where every single dollar in your bank account goes.\u00a0Budgeting for Christmas<\/a>\u00a0will help you avoid the impulse purchases or spending too much on those white elephant gifts. There\u2019s nothing worse than waking up the day after Christmas broke with no idea where your paycheck went. So make a budget and stick to it. You\u2019ll be glad you did.\u00a0<\/p>\n You really can have too much of a good thing. And when it comes to the holidays, that often looks like late nights of hot chocolate and Mom\u2019s famous sugar cookies. But too much sugar messes up your natural hormone responses, your blood sugar and insulin levels, and your brain\u2019s neurotransmitters (the body\u2019s chemical messengers).\u00a0<\/p>\n Mix that with a lack of sleep (from all that caffeine) and a packed schedule, and you\u2019ve got the perfect storm for a rush of anxiety. Limit how much sugar you eat and feed your body with nutritious food as much as possible.\u00a0<\/p>\n Get outside and move. I don\u2019t care how cold it is\u2014put on some extra layers and just do it (or at least get into the gym as often as possible). Nature is important for our emotional and physical health. And exercising gives your body a way to process and release stress hormones. Bundle up and go on your own Christmas lights walking tour or get an epic snowball fight going in your neighborhood. Don\u2019t forget that play is exercise too. Even in the small things, you can prioritize movement. Anything is better than nothing!<\/p>\n Anxiety affects at least 40 million people in the U.S.4<\/sup><\/a>\u00a0And one of the most powerful\u00a0tools you have to reduce anxiety<\/a>\u00a0is sleep. When you\u2019re not sleeping, your brain\u2019s emotional centers become overactive, which increases anxiety levels. So instead of staying up late for the third night in a row to binge those Hallmark movies, prioritize your sleep. Not only will it keep your stress and anxiety at bay, but it will also help your immune system stay healthy.<\/p>\n Being sick at Christmastime is the absolute worst, so you need to do what you can to avoid it! As you all know, washing your hands and doing immune boosting activities (exercising, getting outside, and resting) will help you feel strong, peaceful, and healthy. Don\u2019t burn the candle at both ends by staying up late and getting up early. Get enough sleep. I can\u2019t stress this enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n This is a season of giving, but don\u2019t give so much of yourself away that you have nothing left to give. Keep your peace and quiet, and you\u2019ll keep your sanity. Make time to enjoy the things you love. Read a book. Do a Christmas devotional. Or dive into some of your favorite Christmas movies that put you in the holiday spirit.\u00a0<\/p>\n To keep your joy intact, create some breathing room between parties, travel schedules, deadlines at work and shopping trips.\u00a0<\/p>\n Try to stick to your normal routine. If your average day starts with waking up, pouring yourself a cup of coffee, and reading the newspaper, don\u2019t skip that. Having some normalcy can help keep you calm and focused on the day ahead. Plus, it\u2019s a great way to stay sane\u2014especially when you have a houseful of extended family (and in-laws).<\/p>\n 2020 has been the year of canceled plans. We all know what it\u2019s like to\u00a0deal with the disappointment<\/a>\u00a0of canceled plans. We\u2019ve had canceled vacations, canceled family gatherings and birthday parties, canceled paychecks and even canceled church.<\/p>\n As we get into the holiday season, you might be facing\u00a0more\u00a0<\/em>canceled plans. Maybe your annual Christmas at Grandma\u2019s isn\u2019t happening this year because you want to keep Grandma safe. Or maybe your kids and grandkids aren\u2019t going to make the trip this year because they lost their jobs. Whatever you\u2019re going through, it\u2019s important to reset your expectations. Give your family and friends grace (let them off the hook), because these circumstances aren\u2019t \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n Don\u2019t put the guilt trip on them just because you can\u2019t see your grandkids. You might have to let go of the picture-perfect Christmas you had in mind for this year . . . and create a\u00a0new<\/em>\u00a0picture. Like I\u2019ve already said, this is the year of the Christmas reset.\u00a0<\/p>\n I like to say that relationships are your emergency fund for life\u2014so I invite you to think of this season as a chance to stockpile those funds. Make people your top priority. Christmastime is meant to be filled with joy and thankfulness and lingering conversations over the dinner table and lots of laughter. But connection doesn\u2019t happen by accident: You must be intentional.\u00a0 Good folks, make every effort to respond well to holiday stress this year. Yes, it\u2019s super annoying when Great-Aunt Becky keeps pinching your kids\u2019 cheeks\u2014so honor her and protect your kids by being prepared with a polite request for her to stop. Stress is part of life, so let\u2019s do our part to be gracious and generous with ourselves and the people we care about.\u00a0<\/p>\n While stress is normal and even healthy for us, if we don\u2019t listen and respond to it, our stress will quickly morph into anxiety. I\u2019m super passionate about helping people be well, and as someone who is personally prone to anxiety, I\u2019m excited to share my new\u00a0Quick Read,\u00a0Redefining Anxiety<\/em><\/a>, with you. In this short book, I\u2019ll break down the four biggest myths we believe about anxiety and give you some practical steps you can take to start getting your life back.<\/p>\n Dr. John Delony is a mental health expert with two PhDs in counselor education and supervision, and higher education administration from Texas Tech University. Before joining Ramsey Solutions in 2020, John worked as a senior leader, professor and researcher at multiple universities. He also spent two decades in crisis response, walking with people through severe trauma. Now as a Ramsey Personality, he teaches on relationships, mental health and wellness.\u00a0<\/span>Learn More.<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":463,"featured_media":10786,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,102,117],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","category-wellness"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10780","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/463"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10780"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10780\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10780"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10780"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10780"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.ramseysolutions.net\/media\/landing-pages\/content-hubs\/icons\/book.svg\")
<\/a>Anxiety is real, but it doesn’t define you. Get your life back with our new quick read!<\/span><\/p>\n13 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress<\/strong><\/h2>\n
1.\u00a0Set boundaries for your schedule and spending.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2.\u00a0Avoid family conflict.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3.\u00a0Focus on what you can control.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
4.\u00a0Know your role in the situation.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5.\u00a0Say no.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
6. Limit your time on social media.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
7.\u00a0Picture the Christmas you want to have.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
8.\u00a0Make a Christmas budget.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
9.\u00a0Don\u2019t overdo it on the sugar.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n
10. Get plenty of sleep and stay healthy.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
11. Protect your downtime.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n
12.\u00a0Dealing with canceled plans.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n
13.\u00a0Make connection your number one priority.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Don\u2019t let the month go by in a total blur. Slow down and think about what you really want to do this season. Don\u2019t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that you forget to enjoy the people you\u2019re doing all this for.\u00a0<\/p>\n
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