October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I\u2019ve been pondering this since the first of the month. What should people be aware of? What do I wish I<\/i> had known before Roo was born\u2014or even in those first days and weeks after we found out that Down syndrome would be part of our journey? I realized that I didn\u2019t need more facts and figures. I didn\u2019t need to know about the education system and job options. I just needed to know that I wasn\u2019t alone. And that I would get through this.<\/p>\n
So I wrote a little letter to myself\u2014not the me of today, but the me of three years ago, the me who was very suddenly aware of Down syndrome but who hadn\u2019t really figured out what that meant.<\/p>\n
Hello, darling,<\/p>\n
My heart is aching for you right now. You are angry. And sad. And confused. It\u2019s OK.<\/i> Feel those things. You can even be angry at God\u2014He can take it. Keep wrestling through it, because there is light on the other side.<\/p>\n
You feel like you should spend every waking moment researching Down Syndrome and the best therapies and the possible illnesses that could come along with it, and future job options and everything else. But you just can\u2019t bring yourself to do it. It\u2019s OK.<\/i> You\u2019re not a research person, you\u2019re a take-it-as-it-comes person. You have plenty of help from the support agencies around you\u2014the information will be there when you need it. And you\u2019ll have friends on this same path who are really into research. Let them research the protons out of it. They\u2019ll be good sources for you when you have questions.<\/p>\n
I know that you are overwhelmed when you think of the future. You can\u2019t picture your family, your life, 5 or 10 or 20 years down the road. It\u2019s OK.<\/i> You don\u2019t have to worry about that, because you don\u2019t have to live there right now. Live today<\/i>. And maybe even find a way to enjoy it.<\/p>\n
Speaking of enjoying\u2026 you will. Right now you think that you will never be happy. You truly believe that you will have to pretend to be happy for the rest of your life, because you don\u2019t ever want your baby to feel bad for making you unhappy. But this pain and sadness will give way to unspeakable joy. I\u2019m not saying there won\u2019t be tear-filled moments. Isn\u2019t that life, though? You\u2019ll have those for all three kids for various reasons at various times. But there will be far more smile-filled moments, I promise.<\/p>\n
In the months to come, it will be hard for you to be around other babies. Some Sundays you will dread putting him in the church nursery, because you will be surrounded by babies who are younger than he is and doing things that he cannot do. It\u2019s OK.<\/i> Just keep him with you on those days. People will fight to hold him and love on him, and it will warm your heart. And when you are ready to let him go, those nursery workers will absolutely adore<\/i> him. In that first year, he is going to touch more people\u2019s hearts than you can imagine.<\/p>\n
I know that you think you will never be the same, and you\u2019re right. But you\u2019re still you<\/i>. You will grow in compassion, searching for moms who are hurting so that you can comfort them. You will be a more intentional parent, focusing more on things like character and less on things like grades. Your heart for adoption and your heart for children like Roo will combine to give you a fierce desire to rescue children with Down\u2019s from orphanages around the world. You will search for your role in this\u2014and let me tell you, three years later, you still won\u2019t know exactly what that is. But keep praying and giving and telling others. You are an advocate for children with no voice. (You\u2019ll even go to a village in Africa to tell people there why kids with special needs are good and important!) You will take this new journey and the talents and skills and passions that you already have, and you will use them to be a new\u2014and better\u2014you.<\/p>\n
Oh, and I know that you are in a day-at-a-time mode, but I just have to tell you that three years down the road, you have an absolutely incredible little boy. He is sweet and funny and can light up an entire room with his smile. He is also unbelievably ornery and will make you crazy with his stubbornness\u2014but deep down, you\u2019ll like that too. (And don\u2019t get too attached to that fuzzy head of hair. When he\u2019s two, he loses every single strand of it. And he totally<\/i> rocks a bald head.)<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t promise you this journey will always be easy. But I can tell you that it will be worth it<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Love,<\/p>\n
Me<\/p>\n
Katy Epling is incredibly thankful for Down syndrome, the gift she never knew she wanted. She loves sharing with other women through writing and speaking, and can be found online at <\/i>Diary of a Zookeeper<\/i><\/a> and <\/i>Hello, Darling<\/i><\/a>.<\/i><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I\u2019ve been pondering this since the first of the month. What should people be aware of? What do I wish I had known before Roo was born\u2014or even in those first days and weeks after we found out that Down syndrome would be part of our journey? I realized […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":12221,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[117],"tags":[31,116,124,48,121,125],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wellness","tag-fear","tag-illness","tag-katy","tag-loss","tag-new-baby","tag-special-needs"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}