My husband and I are stuck in a sex rut. We still have sex regularly, but it\u2019s always the same. It\u2019s like a routine with the same motions and moves. I\u2019m a little bored, I think he\u2019s bored. How do we find our passion anew?<\/i><\/p>\n
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Kudos to you and your husband for having sex regularly.<\/p>\n
Ruts are part of life.<\/p>\n
Endless are the articles published by check-out magazines and chick blogs promising rut-busting solutions guaranteed to drive your man wild, but I feel those articles fail to address the deeper struggle. A rut is not a dilemma or problem to be busted. A rut is the longing within that will not be ignored.<\/p>\n
Addressing your rut in the bedroom could be as simple as wearing something that makes you feel beautiful, breaking up the routine, or trying something new. If this is you, then go for it. Talk to your husband about what you are feeling. Conversation starters could be:<\/p>\n
Or skip all the conversation, put on that thing that makes you feel pretty, get that man of yours, stop reading this article, and go bust that rut. For more on moving past the rut in your bedroom, read The Language of Sex<\/i> by Dr. Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham.<\/p>\n
Need some practical things to try? I get that. I\u2019m a mom too, and between the demands of my family\u2019s schedule and sheer sleep deprivation, sometimes my creativity lacks. Try these fun tips to spice things up:<\/p>\n
For most people, however, it\u2019s not that simple. Many of us don\u2019t experience one rut at a time. If you\u2019re bored with your sex life, you\u2019re probably bored with other parts of your life as well.<\/p>\n
The difficult part for many of us is knowing if we are simply experiencing a little rut, or if it’s a symptom of something much bigger. The easy part is overthinking it and talking in circles. Ask yourself a few questions to determine if your sex life needs a little jumpstart or if there\u2019s something bigger to consider.<\/p>\n
For most people, however, it\u2019s not that simple. Many of us don\u2019t experience one rut at a time. If you\u2019re bored with your sex life, you\u2019re probably bored with other parts of your life as well.<\/p>\n
Ruts are often a whisper from a longing within.<\/p>\n
Take a moment to pause, listen and think about what your rut is trying to tell you. If you\u2019re like me and struggle with being still, use this to time to journal your thoughts and feelings about your rut. Writing down my thoughts helps me focus.<\/p>\n
Still struggling? Consider talking to a close friend or counselor to help you unpack what your rut is trying to tell you.<\/p>\n
For me, most of my ruts want me to be still, relax, take life less seriously, and laugh. A lot.<\/p>\n
Let your rut become a hope-filled wakeup call to live fully, instead of making it a life sentence. Ruts are temporary. Hope is forever. Choose hope.<\/p>\n
What questions do you have about marriage or sex? Because we want to answer them! We posted this answer to a popular, but not-often-talked-about, question about the female orgasm last year, and it became one of our top 20 posts of the year, so we know you\u2019re thinking about ways to improve things in the bedroom with your husband.<\/p>\n
Tasha Levert<\/a> is an expert on female relationship needs and has her Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy. Plus, she\u2019s witty and honest, and we love her. Send an email with your questions tomagazines@mops.org<\/a>\u00a0<\/span>(yes, even the embarrassing ones), and we\u2019ll start getting answers for the questions we\u2019re all asking but don\u2019t know who to ask.<\/p>\n Tasha Levert, Ph.D., is a licensed professional counselor in New Orleans who provides face-to-face and online care. She is a conference speaker, worship leader and the author of \u00a0<\/i>Stories of Hope for the Sleep Deprived.<\/i><\/a>\u00a0Tasha and her husband Tim (Pastor with Students at the Vineyard Church of New Orleans) have three beautiful daughters and a lazy schnauzer named Gumbo.\u00a0<\/i>To find out more about Tasha or her practice go to\u00a0<\/i>tashalevert.com<\/i><\/a>\u00a0or\u00a0<\/i>broomtreecounseling.com<\/i><\/a>.<\/i><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The question: My husband and I are stuck in a sex rut. We still have sex regularly, but it\u2019s always the same. It\u2019s like a routine with the same motions and moves. I\u2019m a little bored, I think he\u2019s bored. How do we find our passion anew? Kudos to you and your husband for having […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":1818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[100,42,102],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith","category-lifestyle","category-relationships"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/61"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1794\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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