{"id":2175,"date":"2015-12-21T21:15:16","date_gmt":"2015-12-22T04:15:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mops.org\/?p=2175"},"modified":"2015-12-21T21:15:16","modified_gmt":"2015-12-22T04:15:16","slug":"navigating-tough-family-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/navigating-tough-family-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Navigating Tough Family Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>For some, the most stressful part of the holidays is being together with family. It\u2019s true, families are inherently conflictual.\u00a0 In our culture, we\u2019ve been led to believe that conflict is bad \u2013 something to be avoided because it\u2019s the mark of a dysfunctional family. Conflict is, however, inevitable; and can bring about positive change (think the American Revolution, Civil Rights Movement, Suffrage Movement and Domestic Marriage Act).\u00a0 How we handle conflict is the difference between progress and strife.<\/p>\n<p>When we have a conflict, it behooves us to talk directly and honestly about our issues and concerns.\u00a0 As a trained mediator, I work primarily with families in conflict and often help them navigate through it.\u00a0 Here are some tips on how to navigate a difficult family relationship.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Set up at a time to talk directly and privately \u2013 arrange a time to walk, have coffee, lunch or met privately without distractions.<\/li>\n<li>Allow time for each person to talk and listen.\u00a0 Make a point of taking turns if necessary.\u00a0 You often learn more from listening than talking.<\/li>\n<li>Separate the person from the problem \u2013 recognize that the person isn\u2019t bad, but the behavior(s) may be.<\/li>\n<li>Use I-You Messages when talking \u2013 tell your story and own it.\u00a0 State what actions cause you to feel a certain way and why.\u00a0 Explain what new behaviors may bring renewed care.<\/li>\n<li>Be forward focused \u2013 discuss what you need going forward for things to improve.<\/li>\n<li>Craft a resolution agreement \u2013 if necessary, write down future expectations or commit to them verbally. Agree to keep it confidential if you want.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Once you finish the conversation and plan for future behaviors, commit honestly to continue to promote positive change through direct and honest conversations. Check in periodically to make sure things are copacetic. If setbacks occur, start over.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><i>Elizabeth Esrey is a certified mediator who works with families in crisis.\u00a0 She lectures on mediation and conflict resolution as a way to promote peace through conversation. Visit her website at<\/i><a href=\"http:\/\/www.esreymediation.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.esreymediation.com<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For some, the most stressful part of the holidays is being together with family. It\u2019s true, families are inherently conflictual.\u00a0 In our culture, we\u2019ve been led to believe that conflict is bad \u2013 something to be avoided because it\u2019s the mark of a dysfunctional family. Conflict is, however, inevitable; and can bring about positive change [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":137,"featured_media":2192,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[102],"tags":[104,26,256,56,101,107,89,160,112,187],"class_list":["post-2175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-advice","tag-family","tag-honestly","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-school-age-kids","tag-siblings","tag-thought-provoking","tag-tips","tag-transparency"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/137"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}