Stop talking before you say something that can\u2019t easily be repaired. <\/strong>When you hear the crazy talk (accusations, exaggerations, unrealistic expectations) come out of your mouth, stop and say out loud, \u201cI know this sounds crazy, but\u2026\u201d and then ask your spouse to talk it out with you.<\/p>\n Look and see whom else you\u2019ve invited to your money discussion. <\/strong>Is it your dad, who\u2019s always judged you about not saving enough? Or maybe it\u2019s the girls in your life, who all have the Michael Kor\u2019s square bag. Others may be getting an emotional say in how your family spends its money, even though they aren\u2019t in the room.<\/p>\n In our money talks, I wasn\u2019t just talking to my husband. I had unknowingly invited my ex-husband into our discussion and let his prior judgments taint my conversation with Roger. Now, my husband and I only invite God and a few outside financial management principles into our money discussions. Before we talk money, we pray. Then we consult trusted financial principles. For us, it\u2019s Dave Ramsey\u2019s Total Money Makeover.<\/em><\/p>\n Listen to what your spouse is saying. <\/strong>Your partner has fears about finances, and sometimes those fears can come across in an angry or judgmental way. The one sentence that has done more good for our marriage than any other is, \u201cWhat I hear you saying is\u2026\u201d It\u2019s called active listening; where you listen closely enough so that you can repeat back what you understand the other person to be saying. It\u2019s a judgement-free way of understanding and being understood.<\/p>\n Money talks can become danger zones in a marriage. Remember what your mom taught you whenever you enter into any dangerous situation: Stop. Look. And listen<\/em>.<\/p>\n Kathi Lipp<\/strong> and her husband, Roger, live frugally in California. She\u2019s the author of<\/em> The \u201cWhat\u2019s for Dinner?\u201d Solution: Quick, Easy, and Affordable Meals Your Family Will Love from Harvest House Publishers. Find more husband, money and food ideas at <\/em>kathilipp.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n This originally appeared in the Winter 2016 issue of\u00a0Hello, Dearest<\/em>. If you didn\u2019t get a copy and would like your own, you can\u00a0subscribe<\/a>\u00a0to get\u00a0Hello, Dearest<\/em>\u00a0in your mailbox every season. If you subscribe, forward your receipt to\u00a0magazines@mops.org<\/a>\u00a0and we\u2019ll shoot a copy of the current issue in the mail to you for free \u2026 just because we like you.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever heard crazy talk coming out of your mouth but couldn\u2019t do anything to stop it? \u201cWhy don\u2019t you trust me?\u201d Boom. There goes the crazy talk. I couldn\u2019t believe I said that \u2013 out loud \u2013 to my husband, Roger. But here\u2019s the problem: Money makes me do and say crazy things. 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