When we arrived at the park to visit a new homeschool co-op, the other families had just pulled in as well. I was thankful to see the only other mom I knew there in the parking lot. Seeing her meant my\u00a0kids and I\u00a0would not be walking into a new group alone.<\/p>\n
The other kids walked together in pairs or\u00a0groups of three and\u00a0four, helping their mothers carry bags or waving wooden toys in rhythm with\u00a0their strides \u2013 it was clear that they all had this co-op thing down.<\/p>\n
On a picnic table under the grove of trees where we would gather, a mother was organizing her supplies for the day\u2019s craft. Another mother was spreading a large tarp, and a few others were either chatting together or reviewing notes before it was their turn to teach a short lesson. The wooden toys were now being employed in battle by a handful of brave young knights. I spotted a few agile climbers up in the trees. Yet more kids dotted the field here and there, enjoying the free time before we began.<\/p>\n
Before long, everyone was sitting upon their blankets, shoes off and at ease. What I did not expect was just how delightful and enjoyable it all would be.<\/p>\n
THIS<\/em>. This is the freedom, beauty and wonder that I want to characterize my kids\u2019 childhood. The folk songs with the sweet little movements. The rhythmic poetry read by an articulate mother, followed by less articulate but ever so much more endearing children reciting short poems. The silly games. The art. The classical music. The hymns. The community<\/em>.<\/p>\n It seemed like all of this was the pinnacle of what I was aiming for. In the midst of our participation that morning, I was having an internal dialogue with the part of me that is still tempted to compare myself to others.<\/p>\n I should be doing SO. MUCH. MORE.<\/p>\n When can I schedule more nature journaling?<\/em> Oh, we should totally be memorizing poetry!<\/em> Why don\u2019t we listen to more classical music?<\/em> I can\u2019t believe my kids can\u2019t do a proper jumping jack!<\/em><\/p>\n Have you ever felt like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n Maybe it\u2019s not a homeschool co-op, but a playdate or dinner at a friend\u2019s house or someone else\u2019s (better behaved kids \u2026 more stylish wardrobe \u2026 home cooked meals) that prompts a similar internal dialogue.<\/p>\n Today more than ever, we are exposed to the gamut of women with strengths of every sort. Certainly in your handful of friends or social media circle, you know of women who are excellent cooks, or who are always dressed impeccably, or who are so patient with their kids you wonder if there\u2019s a magic pill they\u2019re taking that you\u2019re missing out on.<\/p>\n The point is, the opportunities to compare ourselves to other will never end.<\/p>\n On this day, though, I won the battle.\u00a0 By reminding myself (over and over) that I can choose<\/em> to either be inspired or defeated.<\/p>\n We can look at other women\u2019s successes and let them expose all the areas we feel lacking in. We can allow\u00a0our minds to run wild thinking of all the ways we are \u201cfailing\u201d our kids. We can start immediately to figure out what to do in order to be JUST AS GOOD as everyone else.<\/p>\n Or \u2026 We can take control of our thoughts and remind ourselves of a few true things.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember these three things the next time the comparison snake rears its head:<\/p>\n Remembering the marathon mentality is helpful. It takes time to find your groove and implement systems that work. It\u2019s not single days or months that will make or break your kids. It is years of simply loving and investing in them that will\u00a0make the biggest impact. Day after day, year after year, of sacrificially serving your children and taking advantage of all the small conversations and moments will create a legacy that will last.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re struggling right now, it\u2019s okay. The race is not over.<\/p>\n A true friend cannot always be comparing herself. Judgment, jealousy and\u00a0pity follow comparison. If I look at a woman and only see my<\/em> weaknesses, then what I am not looking at is this woman. Her person<\/em>. Her\u00a0worth<\/em>. I am missing the forest for the trees.<\/p>\n Practice self-forgetfulness and be a good friend.<\/p>\n When I let myself become defeated, it shuts the door on learning from women whose strengths I admire. Choose to see other women\u2019s strengths for what they are \u2013 opportunities for inspiration. Be thankful that we all have areas in which we excel.<\/p>\n Friends, community is a precious gift! Don\u2019t let comparison cause you to miss out.<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Lisa is an imperfect, slightly awkward, mother of five (three at home, one in heaven, and one on the way), cooking, crafting and generally loving life. You can find her sharing recipes, projects, ideas and encouragements from her everyday life at <\/em>thispilgrimlife.com<\/em><\/a>. You can also find her on <\/em>Facebook<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When we arrived at the park to visit a new homeschool co-op, the other families had just pulled in as well. I was thankful to see the only other mom I knew there in the parking lot. Seeing her meant my\u00a0kids and I\u00a0would not be walking into a new group alone. 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\nIt also\u00a0seemed like everyone else was doing a much better job than me.<\/strong><\/p>\nHer success is not your failure.<\/h3>\n
This motherhood gig is a marathon, not a sprint.<\/h3>\n
In order to be this woman\u2019s friend, I need to honestly delight in her successes.<\/h3>\n
This is an opportunity for good. If I can see it.<\/h3>\n
\n