I am a body in motion. Tonight, while cleaning up after dinner, I scolded my 2-year-old for pushing the kitchen chairs around. She lined them all up and said, \u201cI\u2019m taking away all the chairs. You can\u2019t have any chairs, mama!\u201d The 5-year-old then chimed in gleefully, \u201cGuess you\u2019re just going to have to stand up for the rest of your life!\u201d<\/p>\n
Her statement felt painfully true. Whoever invented the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom leisurely folding a basket of laundry while watching \u201cDays of Our Lives\u201d deserves some horrific punishment: an eternity of stooping down to pick up choking hazards off the floor or listening to creepy kid\u2019s music or being slowly buried under a mass of children\u2019s drawings and coloring pages that are too special and important to EVER be thrown away.<\/p>\n
Describing the life of a stay-at-home mom, or any mom, as \u201cleisurely\u201d is kind of like saying that children are generally calm and reasonable. In other words, it\u2019s a false statement. Personally, I tend to complete my everyday tasks in a manner that I would love to call \u201cpurposeful,\u201d but is more often in the category of \u201cfrenetic,\u201d \u201charried,\u201d or \u201cborderline manic\u201d \u2013 anything but<\/em> leisurely.<\/p>\n With three children ages 5 and under, rest is not a thing I\u2019m good at. I can be better, though, better at everything, more centered, joyful, and at peace, if I can manage to find moments of rest in the everyday frenzy of my life. Those moments are there already; I just need to recognize them, appreciate them, and allow them to restore me.<\/p>\n When I get out of my disgusting house<\/strong>. I could spend my girls\u2019 entire childhood in an endless cycle of cleaning up after them and then gritting my teeth as I watch them destroy all my good work. Going outside kills a whole bunch of birds with one stone: I put the mess out of sight and mind, I take a few deep breaths of clean, good-smelling air, and best of all, I keep my children from doing any further damage inside.<\/p>\n When I connect with a friend. <\/strong>I have an amazing neighbor who also has three children. Luckily, her three kids and my three kids enjoy spending time together as much as my neighbor and I enjoy spending time together. Sharing my absolutely normal struggles with another woman who understands them, because she lives them, that\u2019s freeing. It is, no doubt, a blessing.<\/p>\n When I remind myself to be thankful. <\/strong>It\u2019s usually triggered by some small detail – a two-toothed smile from my baby, the way the sun shines through my backyard trees, a conversation overheard from the playroom. I think to myself, Not everyone gets this.<\/em> This is something I need to remember. <\/em>It lasts for no more than a minute, but it helps me get through the next sibling squabble or messy diaper or marathon time-out.<\/p>\n When I act like I\u2019m a human being too.<\/strong> How strange, that moms have to eat and sleep and perform bodily functions. How unfortunate that these physical demands impede their ability to respond to their offspring\u2019s every beck and call. I am often so busy trying to keep my children happy that I shush the voice in my head (or stomach, or bladder) that tells me what I need. When I give myself permission to do the things that I need to do – like eat my breakfast sitting down, and shower at least once every few days \u2013 it feels good, and that should count for something.<\/p>\n When I watch my children playing together. <\/strong>I gave birth to three daughters so I could love them and support them and instill them with values that will hopefully benefit humanity in some way. I did not, however, bring them into this world because I had a dream of becoming the greatest entertainer the earth has ever seen. So when they tire of asking me, \u201cMom can you\u2026?\u201d and play with each other instead, I try to stop what I\u2019m doing and observe them, hear the voices they use when they\u2019re pretending, watch the baby crawl after her sisters, and know that as I do the work of motherhood, they do the work of childhood.<\/p>\n When they finally go to sleep. <\/strong>Because I can have a conversation with my husband. I can put my feet up without having to jump up to fetch something for someone. Because I have had a full, full day of doing my job, and now I deserve to rest.<\/p>\nIn my everyday life, when do I feel most at rest?<\/h3>\n
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