There she is. Running after her toddler or kissing away a boo-boo or looking like she hasn\u2019t slept in weeks. There she is rocking the baby until her arms are numb, playing puzzles on the floor, eating leftovers because she forgot her own meal. There she is pouring her heart and soul into her little person.<\/p>\n
And still, she thinks she\u2019s not doing it right.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel like such a bad mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
The seven words most undeserved words of all time. I hear that self-accusation regularly \u2013 especially from first-time moms \u2013 and I\u2019m always startled by them. I look at the beautiful young mama blaming herself for something entirely out of her control and think, \u201cWhaatt??\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m still raising little people, but after eight years in the \u201cfield,\u201d I\u2019m emerging from under the rock. My life is no longer ruled by the trifecta of puke, poop and pee. Naptime and potty breaks no longer govern my schedule. I\u2019m no longer a milk dispenser (yay!) and my wardrobe is not in an \u201cin-between\u201d size (nor does it smell faintly of spit up anymore).<\/p>\n
Sure, my 8-year-old and almost-7-year-old still need me. There are bad dreams and I-can\u2019t-reach-thats. There are cupcakes to be baked and minor world wars to be settled. There\u2019s homework to navigate and play dates to supervise. But I\u2019m no longer a mom of wee ones.<\/p>\n
So, as a (slightly) older mom who\u2019s been through some of your struggles, I want to let my younger mama friends know that you\u2019re doing awesome. Even when you feel like you\u2019re not. Especially<\/em> when you feel like you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n When those hormones rear their ugly head and make you want to dissolve into tears or yell and scream or curl into a ball and disappear, remember: You got this. You\u2019re enough<\/em>.<\/p>\n I\u2019m here to say that it does get easier. They learn to pee in the toilet. They don\u2019t scream like banshees every time you leave the room. They go to preschool for two entire hours at a time (FREEDOM!!). They sleep. Eventually.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, here\u2019s what the last eight years have taught me:<\/p>\n Guaranteed. (Sorry, just keeping it real.) Your toddler may decide that Vicks Vapor rub makes an excellent snack. You may feed her milk past its expiration. He will probably take a tumble off the bed. You will forget to pack extra diapers for that day trip. But, guess what? Moms are people, too. Give yourself some grace. The best part is that babies are extremely forgiving \u2026 and forgetful.<\/p>\n Another guarantee. And, surprisingly, not all of it is rubbish. People, especially women, love babies. And many of them have had a couple of their own. That makes about half the population experts on mommyhood. Listen to all of it, chuck most of it, but do keep some of it. Because it takes a village. It really does.<\/p>\n For a season.<\/em> You\u2019re a person with ambition and drive and dreams and plans. You were created with unique gifts and talents that don\u2019t disappear just because you\u2019re a mom. But not all of it has to happen right this momen<\/em>t. You\u2019re doing the toughest jobs on the planet. Hands down. You\u2019re raising a person<\/em>. You\u2019re molding a whole new human. Remember, there\u2019s a time for everything.<\/p>\n So don\u2019t. Yes, you want to do the best for your baby. But, maybe, that doesn\u2019t mean she eats organic, home-cooked, from-the-garden meals every single day. Chicken nuggets may appear on the menu. Frozen<\/em> chicken nuggets that you swore you\u2019ll never let your toddler get the faintest whiff of. There\u2019ll be rain checks on bedtime stories. There\u2019ll even be rain checks on baths \u2013 several times over. Mama, we get it, you\u2019re in survival mode some days. And, that\u2019s perfectly okay.<\/p>\n There\u2019s always going to be the nay-sayers. There\u2019s always going to be, \u201cShe stays home all day, wonder what she does with all her time?\u201d Or the \u201cShe\u2019s at work all day, her poor kids!\u201d Our identity can\u2019t be in what we do.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s the truth: you are enough, you got this.<\/strong><\/p>\nYou will screw up.<\/h3>\n
You will get advice.<\/h3>\n
You may have to shelf some dreams.<\/h3>\n
You can be your own worst enemy.<\/h3>\n
You may never be enough in the world\u2019s eyes.<\/h3>\n
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