article<\/a> about how girls get complimented by adults on their appearance about a gazillion to one compared to boys, while boys are more likely to get complimented on their abilities and talents. And I thought, Well, that\u2019s silly because I rarely talk to my girls about their appearance<\/i>. I make sure their bottoms are covered when we go out in public, and they have shoes on in places that say \u201cNo Shoes, No Shirt, No Service\u201d. So when I heard that statistic, I was quite pleased with myself for not being one of those who make superficial compliments.<\/p>\nUntil I noticed what I said to my FRIENDS\u2019 daughters.<\/i><\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t realize how quickly I commented on girls\u2019 appearance until I made a conscious effort not to. I find it easier with my own girls to compliment them on things other than their outfit because I know them.<\/p>\n
But for the other girls in my life, it is often my fallback greeting. Always as a way of saying, \u201cI see you. I notice you.\u201d But I can see and notice so much more than their dress, can\u2019t I? I\u2019m smart enough to figure out different places to extend compliments. It\u2019s helped to have some words on the ready so I can let them know what is important to me goes way beyond the way they look or dress. Here are five compliments I\u2019ve been known to throw out there:<\/p>\n
1. Your joy is beautiful.<\/h3>\n
\u201cYou have a beautiful smile.\u201d \u201cYours eyes twinkle when you\u2019re thinking about that.\u201d \u201cIt makes me happy to see you so happy.\u201d There is a radiance about people who are enjoying the moment. We can teach girls with the ways we affirm them in those moments of joy.<\/p>\n
2. Your talents are beautiful.<\/h3>\n
\u201cYou did that puzzle all by yourself? You are so good that!\u201d \u201cWow! You are fast on your bike!\u201d \u201cI think that drawing is lovely. Can you tell me about it?\u201d We are each unique, and there is no reason we shouldn\u2019t point out girls\u2019 natural abilities to encourage them to live into who they were made to be. They don\u2019t have to be delicate talents either (think fine arts) they just need to be uniquely hers, and we need to be genuinely interested in them.<\/p>\n
3. Your heart is beautiful.<\/h3>\n
\u201cThank you for that hug. That helped cheer me up.\u201d \u201cThat was so thoughtful when you brought your sister your bear.\u201d \u201cGreat job including everyone when you were at school today. I can tell it made your friends feel special.\u201d God\u2019s heart is for us to treat each other well. Beauty in action is certainly attractive. Catch her doing things right.<\/p>\n
4. Your thoughts are beautiful.<\/h3>\n
\u201cWhat did you think of that story?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve never thought of it that way.\u201d \u201cThat is a great idea!\u201d From her opinions to her ponderings, you gain insight into who she is. When you affirm her questions or insights you are letting her know she has something valuable to contribute to discussions and the world. Her ideas matter.<\/p>\n
5. Your presence is beautiful.<\/h3>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s so good to see you.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re here.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve missed you.\u201d All are my fallbacks when I greet a girl and nothing else comes to mind. These are ways to let a girl know her very existence is a gift to others, and you\u2019re glad she is around. This speaks right into why she is valuable. She is valuable because she bears her Creator\u2019s image. It\u2019s so simple and indeed beautiful.<\/p>\n
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