{"id":3614,"date":"2016-08-01T00:01:08","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T06:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mops.org\/?p=3614"},"modified":"2016-08-01T00:01:08","modified_gmt":"2016-08-01T06:01:08","slug":"benefits-of-play","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/benefits-of-play\/","title":{"rendered":"Benefits of Play: A Conversation With a Play Expert"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently sat down for coffee with Kathy Jack, MA, LCPC<\/a> to talk about the importance of play. She\u2019s been a professional counselor since 2001 and a mom since 2006. Some of Kathy\u2019s specialties include: child-parent interactions, child-centered play therapy, sand tray therapy, and attachment play therapy. All that to say, girlfriend has a lot of knowledge to drop.<\/p>\n

She\u00a0suggests that moms (and dads too) set aside around 20 minutes, three to four times a week for intentional one-on-one playtime. Kathy encourages moms to give that time a name. Not only does this foster a deep connection between mother and child, there are countless developmental and emotional benefits.<\/p>\n

Here are just a few:<\/p>\n

Play helps children communicate their feelings.<\/h3>\n

\u201cToys are to children as words are to adults, and play is the primary language that children speak,\u201d says Kathy. Play provides a child with a safe and natural space to learn how to communicate and process his or her feelings. In the same way that a girls\u2019 night out helps moms to de-stress, children learn to \u201cvent\u201d their emotions during play, which helps them develop into emotionally healthy adults.<\/p>\n

As moms, after an experience with our kids, we often ask questions like: \u201cDid you have fun?\u201d or \u201cDidn\u2019t you like that?\u201d There\u2019s nothing wrong with that line of questioning, of course, but it forces children to give a yes or no answer, and doesn\u2019t present them with an opportunity to explore their emotional experiences. Since play is a child\u2019s first language, giving yours that one-on-one playtime, encourages him or her to process real-life events through imaginary ones.<\/p>\n

For instance, a preschooler playing \u201canimals\u201d with her mom, might say something like, \u201cThe doggy doesn\u2019t want to go to school.\u201d This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean the child is deeply traumatized about starting preschool; it just means that she might have some healthy fears about the upcoming transition, and is working out her feelings. Moms can help this process along by mirroring what the child is doing. Jack suggests that parents don\u2019t add too much. \u201cSimply reflect any emotions you notice. Be curious and enthusiastic, and try not to ask a lot of questions. If you are going to pose something, make sure it is a general observation like, \u2018Oh the doggy doesn\u2019t want to go to school. I wonder what will happen next.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

Allowing your child to the lead the story (or draw or write the story, for older children) helps him or her face any fears with greater courage, and teaches your child how to process feelings \u2013 both positive and negative.<\/p>\n

She also encourages moms to pay attention. \u201cIf you notice your child is \u2018playing out\u2019 a vulnerable emotional experience again and again without any resolution, you might consider partnering with a child therapist to find out if something deeper is going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Play teaches children to contribute creatively to the world and boosts their self-confidence.<\/h3>\n

Just as a parent feels satisfied after contributing to the family by making a great meal, planning a fun birthday party or finishing a project, when children play, they feel like they are adding to the world around them. Play gives children a sense of satisfaction and self-worth.<\/p>\n

As you play with your children, you can help them they discover what they love and what they\u2019re good at. Is your daughter hilarious? Be sure to tell her how much she makes you laugh. Is your son great at building Lego towers and knocking them down? Let him know you think that\u2019s pretty cool.<\/p>\n

Kathy\u00a0always tells moms, \u201cBe observant. If your son is serving you a pretend bowl of soup, and you notice a big smile on his face, you can mirror that emotion by saying something like, \u2018You made mommy soup! I love when you make me soup!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

When you communicate excitement and approval of your child\u2019s play, you boost their confidence. She also notes, \u201cDon\u2019t put pressure on your children to perform a certain way during playtime. In a culture where everything is performance-oriented, play is one area where your child has nothing to prove. When kids play, they need the freedom to get lost in it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A child who doesn\u2019t have opportunities to play \u2013 for instance, a child always on screen time \u2013 misses out on important developmental processes like creating scenarios, telling stories, pretending, being silly and connecting emotionally with others.<\/p>\n

Play teaches children boundaries, responsibility and empathy.<\/h3>\n

During your one-on-one playtime, kids will feel special and loved. But it\u2019s also important for a child to know when playtime is over. This teaches your child healthy limits. Often, children will want to extend playtime but it\u2019s beneficial to tell your child something like, \u201cOur special time \u2013 we do that every few days and it\u2019s just for us. But now we have to put it away, so that we can make sure we are able to do it again later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe added bonus,\u201d she says, \u201cis that a regular set-aside playtime will build trust between you and your child as he or she learns that you will, in fact, have that special time again. So be consistent.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lastly, play teaches children responsibility and empathy as they learn how to play appropriately: We clean up when we are finished playing; we don\u2019t angrily smash things; we treat others with compassion and kindness; we apologize if we hurt someone<\/em>. Play shows children that they can be messy, silly and have tons of fun, but also that there are healthy boundaries around and within play.<\/p>\n

A Few Practical Tips About Play: <\/em><\/h3>\n