{"id":3995,"date":"2016-09-20T00:01:50","date_gmt":"2016-09-20T06:01:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mops.org\/?p=3995"},"modified":"2016-09-20T00:01:50","modified_gmt":"2016-09-20T06:01:50","slug":"the-milestones-no-mom-talks-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/the-milestones-no-mom-talks-about\/","title":{"rendered":"The Milestones No Mom Talks About"},"content":{"rendered":"

At your baby shower someone gave you a beautiful, hand-illustrated baby book in which you have diligently recorded each of your child\u2019s major (and lesser) milestones. There are photographs secured with pretty washi tape, little baggies of clipped baby curls and run marks where your bittersweet tears have hit the page and smudged the ink of your notes to remember everything.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s beautiful, but I wonder: Have you been recording your milestones, mom? They\u2019re certainly less glamorous; maybe even taboo or inappropriate. But they are milestones nonetheless and I think under celebrated too. So here\u2019s to you and the top 10 milestones of being a mom.<\/p>\n

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  1. Congratulations on your very first postpartum poop! <\/strong>Not the baby, silly. You! They warned you about this and you\u2019ve been suffering low-grade fear for hours, even days now, as you pop those giant stool softener capsules. I\u2019d like to tell you all the rest are easier, but still, the deed is done<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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    1. Yay! You\u2019ve survived the puke you weren\u2019t prepared for! <\/strong>You assumed you\u2019d never be caught in public unprepared; but you already used that one burp cloth and there\u2019s poop on the blanket. So what can you do but wipe that surprise vomit off of your lacey dress with disintegrating paper napkins from the gas station? At least baby can go naked. When you get home just get into the shower, fully clothed with the kid.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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      1. Thanks for sharing! <\/strong>You\u2019ve endured the sheer shock and embarrassment of your first breastfeeding mishap. Of course you and I know you didn\u2019t mean<\/em> for it to land in your restaurant neighbor\u2019s coffee mug. But you\u2019re a life-giving goddess and sometimes there are side effects to being so fabulous.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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        1. You\u2019ve got a new friend and it\u2019s the Starbucks drive-thru guy!<\/strong> If your neighborhood barista can start making your order without you even having to step out of your car, I applaud you. You\u2019re making good use of that car time. The drive-thru is for mommies!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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          1. I\u2019d like to be the first to honor your seventh trip to Target this week! <\/strong>It takes endurance, planning and determination to go to Target every day! It\u2019s only Wednesday and you\u2019ve been seven times? That\u2019s like a mommy marathon and I\u2019m so proud of you!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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            1. Did you just lick your thumb to clean your kid\u2019s face? <\/strong>Let\u2019s avoid the obvious: We all said \u201cwe\u2019d never do that.\u201d Instead, praise yourself from having officially crossed over into mom territory. You\u2019re beyond social boundaries and you do what it takes to get the job done!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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              1. Gold star for bathroom time!<\/strong> It\u2019s a good thing that selfies are a thing because the first time you complete a personal hygiene routine, alone and uninterrupted, you document that business! Take out your camera, girl, and show us how good you look!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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                1. There\u2019s a party in your tummy! So yummy! So yummy, yummy! <\/strong>Oh, sorry. This isn\u2019t about getting a meal to yourself. That\u2019s a milestone, I think; but I hear it happens much, much later in life. No, I just wanted to give you a pat on the back for singing \u201cYo-Gabba-Gabba\u201d all to yourself. You\u2019re so wrapped-up in love and care for your children, you don\u2019t have time for Top 40 anymore; and that\u2019s OK! Who needs today\u2019s hits when you\u2019ve got preschool music to jam to?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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                  1. Today you told off a stranger<\/strong>. And you\u2019re shocked by it now – maybe half proud of yourself, half reeling from humiliation. But she had the audacity to say something about your kid and you don\u2019t even know from whence that mama bear rage came! But feel good. You\u2019re feeling that fierce love that only a mother can know.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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                    1. And the number one milestone is: FORGETFULNESS. <\/strong>It is so blessed. You can\u2019t even remember any of the things I\u2019ve talked about in this list and you are certain that they haven\u2019t or won\u2019t happen to you. That\u2019s because you\u2019re busy recording things like first teeth and real smiles and wobbly steps and smashed avocados on spoons. And those are the things that trump everything else. Those are the beautiful, heartwarming moments that matter and make all the silly things fade away.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      (But seriously. If you\u2019ve figured out how to get alone time in the bathroom, could you please let me know?!)<\/p>\n

                      \n

                      \"SarahAnnNoel_Cropped\"Sarah Ann Noel married into a family where she became the fourth Sarah Noel, so in the interest of originality, Sarah Ann Noel it shall be.<\/em><\/p>\n

                      Sarah is a wife, a mother, and a prodigious over-thinker, fueled by superfluous amounts of caffeine. She likes to color coordinate her books and leave her hair messy. She and her family travel a lot, which Sarah documents through photos and video. Sarah is a freelance writer and contributes regularly to several magazines and online platforms.<\/em><\/p>\n

                      She is working on her first book. Read more at sarahannnoel.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                      At your baby shower someone gave you a beautiful, hand-illustrated baby book in which you have diligently recorded each of your child\u2019s major (and lesser) milestones. There are photographs secured with pretty washi tape, little baggies of clipped baby curls and run marks where your bittersweet tears have hit the page and smudged the ink […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":183,"featured_media":3996,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,102],"tags":[522,612,613,614,615,616,169,617,618,619,620,442,621],"class_list":["post-3995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-babies","tag-bathroom","tag-breastfeeding","tag-embarrassment","tag-endurance","tag-forgetfulness","tag-kids","tag-mommy","tag-postpartum","tag-puke","tag-sharing","tag-suffering","tag-survived"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3995","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/183"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.themom.co\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}