We hear the statistics, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually violated by their eighteenth birthday. It\u2019s enough to cause panic. We\u2019re tempted to hide under the bed or race for the closet, dragging our children with us. Maybe if we hide from childhood sexual abuse, it won\u2019t see us.<\/p>\n
Fear can paralyze. This is a real threat in the world, but there are steps you can do to stand up to the threat and protect your children, and to help them protect themselves.<\/p>\n
Use bath time as teachable moments. Don\u2019t make up silly names for their penis or vagina. This equips your children and informs them. Perpetrators target clueless children.<\/i><\/p>\nInstruct your children that no one is allowed to touch them where their swimsuit covers,<\/h3>\n
… and that they are not allowed to touch others where their swimsuit covers. Those areas are special and private. Calmly explain to them that they should tell you if someone touches them (no matter whom) or wants them to do the touching. This teaches your children appropriate boundaries and red flags.<\/i> Perpetrators avoid knowledgeable children.<\/i><\/p>\nEmpower your children to take ownership over their own bodies.<\/h3>\n
Don\u2019t force your little ones to hug and kiss people if they don\u2019t want to. Help them understand that their bodies \u2013 hugs and kisses \u2013 belong to them and are theirs to give. Children need to be taught to be respectful, but that they can say \u201cno.\u201d We spend so much time teaching our kids to be obedient; we forget to teach them that there is a time to be disobedient. Most often perpetrators are authority figures in our children\u2019s lives, people they are taught to obey. Our children need to know how, and when, to say \u201cno.\u201d This helps your children feel empowered to make the right choice. Perpetrators avoid empowered children.<\/i><\/p>\nDiscourage secrets in your family.<\/h3>\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t keep secrets in our family. You can tell me anything.\u201d Instead, encourage surprises. \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a surprise party for grandma. We\u2019re not going to tell her about it until we have the party. Then you can tell grandma everything<\/i>.\u201d Childhood sexual abuse relies on secrets. A perpetrator must convince your child to keep a secret in order to accomplish their goal. This creates open communication. Perpetrators avoid children who won\u2019t keep a secret.<\/i><\/p>\n
We can\u2019t be with our children, every second of every day. And we can\u2019t hide them in a closet away from the world\u2019s dangers. But we can be wise, fearless mothers who teach our children well, empowering our children to understand that they can talk to us about anything.<\/i><\/p>\n