Let go of criticism. <\/strong>This child will be high maintenance. People will give you those glances; you know the ones that say, \u201cWhere were you in Parenting 101 class?\u201d The side eyes that might as well be slapping an \u201cepic mom fail\u201d label on your forehead.<\/p>\n Life will never cease to offer you people who aren\u2019t pleased with something you\u2019re doing. If you let them define you, you\u2019re going to lose yourself trying to please so many other people. Only you have walked in your shoes and only you have been given this child. You know the people you trust to speak life and truth. Listen to them. The others? Give them a smile and genuine grace. You don\u2019t know their lives either. Wave goodbye. Then, let them go.<\/p>\n Let go of apologizing.<\/strong> There will be one moment in particular. A woman, in the community pool parking lot, whose car door your child just slightly nicked. She will go all Kris Kardashian on you over it. You will apologize and offer insurance information. She will not be satisfied.<\/p>\n My sweet girl, you cannot ever enforce peoples\u2019 happiness. You cannot bargain for their satisfaction. What you can do is shelter your child (and you) from their shame. Look that woman in the eye. Tell her you apologized once and you’re done. The rest is on her. Childhood is the realm of children and children make mistakes. (Yours will be particularly good at it.) Mistakes are allowed in a life of grace. Fix the mistake if you can. Then let it go.<\/p>\n Let go of normal.<\/strong> You will not understand this child’s behavior. She won’t get a diagnosis (Tourette\u2019s syndrome) for years. You will get abundant unsolicited advice. Smile. Then ignore it. It won’t work, because your new life is not normal. But then, neither is any other new mom\u2019s, whether or not her child has special needs.<\/p>\n Believe that her difference is beautiful, not something to be ashamed of. Her intensity will drive her passion for justice one day. Her brilliant thought patterns will help her find solutions outside everyone\u2019s boxes. Her nonconformity will make her so compassionate. You don\u2019t know this yet, but differences are a thing to nurture, treasure and bend toward goodness because they will reap joy.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll have to guard her heart from those who point out that she\u2019s not \u201cnormal,\u201d so secure the gates of your own as soon as you can from shame-mongers who may or may not mean well. Tell her every day she is amazing and created for a special purpose. Tell yourself that, too. Normal is so overrated. Let it go.<\/p>\n Let go of perfection. <\/strong>This isn\u2019t a job with any standard procedure or road map to the end. The roads you will take may be windier than you imagine. Expectations that demand a straight road for a windy child are only going to make you both feel like misfits. Lighten up on your own expectations. Lighten up on your little girl and listen to her. Hold her when she has no idea what’s going on in her head or body. Realize she’s as confused as you are. You\u2019ll both survive if you hold on to grace. You are the one trusted with this job and this child. What is perfection, anyway? Let it go.<\/p>\n This one-year-old dynamo with cake all over her mischievous face will be amazing. And so will you.<\/p>\n
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<\/a>Jill Richardson is a writer, speaker, pastor and mom of three girls. She pastors a church in a Chicago suburb and is working on her doctorate in church leadership. She is a firm believer in the power of grace, restoration, hope, Earl Grey tea and dark chocolate. Her passion is partnering with the next generation.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"