Taking offense has become a national pastime. We feel affronted by other people\u2019s choices and ideologies, and have made responding to these offenses a lifestyle \u2013 an exhausting and unlovely lifestyle. One thing I notice about Jesus is that he encountered people in all sorts of moral messes, yet, was never taken aback, never indignant and never took offense. Jesus saw the fullness of each situation, then offered dignity like Kim Kardashian takes selfies \u2013 freely and without constraint. Once it was clearly established that he was more concerned with fullness of life than condemnation, then the honest talk happened.<\/p>\n
When we find ourselves chronically offended by other people\u2019s bad driving, sexual orientation or political leanings, perhaps it is an opportunity to evaluate how it is serving us. Because being perpetually offended is exhausting. Not to mention that the frequency with which we get offended is often directly correlated to the size of our ego. The more often we feel offended, the more our ego gets to prove it\u2019s \u201cright.\u201d The question then becomes: Do we care more about validating our ego and losing our voice, or living unoffended and gaining influence? Can you imagine how our relationship with the people around us would improve if we forfeited any inclination toward taking offense, and instead put all of that energy toward letting love be our default reaction?<\/p>\n
Quit Fighting<\/strong><\/p>\n I have four friends with the wise words of Psalms 46:10 inked on their wrist, Be Still. The guttural response to this message illustrates those who strive relentlessly and feel chronically exhausted because of it \u2013 a mantra demanding permanence on their skin. A daily reminder to cease striving and know that God is God. But it becomes something even more significant when you understand that those words were spoken in the aftermath of a battle. Brant Hansen in his book, Unoffendable, describes how the original Hebrew words of this passage implied stopping the fight, letting go and relaxing. When we look at this message in the context of the battlefield of our words, it means no more defensiveness. No more taking things personally. God\u2019s got it. Rest. It means we quit offering advice when zero people ask for it. Quit fighting battles that aren\u2019t ours and verbally sparring about things that don\u2019t matter. We need only to be still, in actions and words.<\/p>\n Love Humbly<\/strong><\/p>\n Loud love means we don\u2019t take ourselves too seriously. Instead, we humbly look inward before we gaze outward. We are honest with ourselves about the ways we have deeply wounded others, or lied, or ran a red light or did things with our bodies that felt dirty. Because facing our own demons, we remember we stand on equal footing with everyone else who has fallen short of perfection. This posture helps us to focus on our own healing, allowing us to lead others to restoration because we have done the hard work ourselves. This posture of seeing our own brokenness first, makes us less harsh, more humble and easier to hear.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t Commiserate<\/strong><\/p>\n Part of letting love be our loudest voice means that we reject the norm to join another person\u2019s pity party. Instead of commiserating, elevate the conversation. Rather than saying, \u201cYou poor thing, I\u2019m in the same boat,\u201d instead say, \u201cGot it, hear you and guess what? Yes, you can do it. I am standing with you. We are going to make it happen together!\u201d Loving loudly means speaking hope into desperate situations and speaking calm into chaos.<\/p>\n Words are powerful tools that come with tremendous responsibility. May love be on the tip of your mother tongue and may you shout it so loud and clear that truth and love become indistinguishable.<\/p>\n Mandy Arioto is the President and CEO of MOPS International, and is widely known for her unique takes on parenting, relationships, spiritual and cultural issues. Through MOPS, which influences millions of moms through thousands of groups internationally, Mandy serves as the voice of one of the most influential parenting organizations in the U.S. and around the world. She and her husband, Joe, live in Denver, Colorado with their three awesome kids. @mandyarioto<\/a><\/p>\n This article currently appears in the\u00a0fall 2017 issue of\u00a0The MOPS Magazine<\/em>. If you didn\u2019t get a copy and would like your own, you can\u00a0subscribe<\/em><\/a>\u00a0<\/em>to get\u00a0The MOPS Magazine\u00a0<\/em>in your mailbox every
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