Let\u2019s be honest. Most of us have no clue what we\u2019re doing when it comes to parenting our kids; otherwise, why would there be so many articles on Facebook telling us all the ways we are doing it wrong? I was so much wiser about parenting before I actually had a child, and now most days feel a little like, \u201cUm, I think this is right?\u201d We want to be great at it and have all the right answers and give our kids all the things they need to ensure they don\u2019t end up living in a van down by the river, but we don\u2019t always know what those things are, and\u2014here\u2019s the tricky part\u2014every new stage requires a new set of skills. Just when you think you are really amazing because you taught a small human how to use the toilet, the game changes and the potty-training portion of parenting is just a distant memory with some lingering PTSD.<\/p>\n
I currently find myself in the parenting stage of having an adolescent. Anyone else spend their own years as an adolescent reading James Dobson\u2019s book Preparing for Adolescence<\/span> because your mom handed it to you and said it would help with any questions you had? I don\u2019t remember getting much out of it back then, but now I\u2019m wondering if I should re-read it to help me navigate the world of social politics in junior high for the second time. As if it wasn\u2019t painful enough the first time, you have to do it again with a person you love even more than you love yourself. This can lead to fantasizing about yanking a thirteen-year-old girl by the ponytail and telling her to straighten up and act right.<\/p>\n Sometimes that girl is your own child.<\/p>\n Just a few nights ago, Caroline and I were sitting together on the couch when I saw a roach run across the living room floor. I immediately jumped up and began scrambling to kill it with my shoe. This is absolutely the grossest thing ever but far preferable to having a live roach in your house. So I dashed around the living room until I finally got it and then realized Caroline had never even looked up from her iPad. I asked, \u201cDid you not see me trying to kill that roach?\u201d and she replied, \u201cOh, is that what you were doing? I just thought you were dancing around the living room acting weird.\u201d This basically sums up the daily humiliation of having a teenager. You lose all semblance of coolness and just become someone (in their minds) who\u2019s likely to decide to \u201cdance around and act weird\u201d in your living room at midnight.<\/p>\n As a parent, I have made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. I\u2019ve been too strict and I\u2019ve been too lenient. I\u2019ve yelled too much and I haven\u2019t yelled enough. I\u2019ve second-guessed decisions Perry and I have made, and ultimately find myself on my knees asking God to cover the places where we are going to get it wrong. Parenting is like a pop quiz some days and\u2014SURPRISE!\u2014there\u2019s an essay portion at the end.<\/p>\n It\u2019s mentally exhausting to navigate all the emotions and the line between being sympathetic and telling them to buck up and quit feeling sorry for themselves. It\u2019s determining the line between appropriate amounts of social media and being a Quaker. Or is it the Amish? Who doesn\u2019t use computers? I can\u2019t remember because I used all my brain power today trying to explain to a thirteen-year-old why it\u2019s important to take Spanish as an elective as opposed to being an Office Aide.<\/p>\n Taken from Church of the Small Things by Melanie Shankle. Copyright \u00a9 2017 by Melanie Shankle. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n