Whether it\u2019s a messy house, messy marriage, messy wardrobe or messy season of struggle, being real about our brokenness invites others to open up about their own areas of brokenness. It also sets us free to live without anything to prove, eyes always searching for someone to love instead of searching for someone to make us feel loved.<\/p>\n
Here are four simple suggestions for the mom who\u2019s ready to be the first to let her guard down and let others into the imperfect parts of her life:<\/p>\n
Host your own messy house playdate.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s not easy to let others see the messes we keep behind closed doors. But that\u2019s just the thing: Every one of us has messes behind closed doors. When we invite others into them, we create an atmosphere that says, \u201cI\u2019m not perfect and you don\u2019t have to be either.\u201d Because, really, who among us has it all<\/em> together?<\/p>\n Show up without perfect hair, perfect makeup or perfect anything.<\/strong><\/p>\n One of the most freeing moments of my MOPS experience was when one of the most gorgeous women in our group showed up in a loose T-shirt and jogging shorts. The day this mom showed up in her workout clothes felt like an invitation that said, \u201cCome as you are.\u201d It broke the mold of keeping up appearances at all times. After that meeting, the environment of our group changed and it was as if we were permitted to have a bad day.<\/p>\n Be the first to tell it like it is.<\/strong><\/p>\n Nothing makes a mom feel inferior like hearing other moms boast about the vitamin supplements that have kept illness out of the house for the past six years, a family craft night that takes place four times a week, or a discipline strategy that has fostered perfectly obedient children. While it\u2019s healthy to share what works, let\u2019s not forget to tell it like it is. There are meltdown days, throw-up bucket days, and scrub the kitchen floor 12 times days. These days are less than glamorous. Let\u2019s share the struggles instead of pretending they don\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n Absolutely refuse to wear a mask.<\/strong><\/p>\n Most of us like masks. We\u2019re experts at covering up the blemishes on our skin, and we\u2019re even more adept at hiding the imperfections in our lives. Set other women free to unload their burdens by being honest about yours. If you just yelled at your kids 16 times in an effort to get out the door, if you made threats in the car, if you wagged your finger like somebody\u2019s angry Aunt Margaret, you\u2019re not alone. Share the ugly with other moms and you\u2019ll find a very real kind of community.<\/p>\n Regardless of where you\u2019re most likely to hide the real parts of your life, consider being the first to step into the freedom of living real. It\u2019s in this place of sincerity that the most lasting and life-changing relationships take place; that the drudgery of the mundane becomes a shared journey through the mountaintops and valleys of motherhood.<\/p>\n
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Stacey Pardoe is the mother of two young children, wife of a Christ-loving man, certified special education teacher, freelance journalist, mentor and more. She writes weekly at