IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MONDAY

I kissed my two older daughters goodbye and watched them get out of the car and walk into school together, heart swelling with happiness that it was Monday, and they would be in that school for the next seven hours. I would be very happy to see them at 3 p.m., but I had plans for a productive day, even with my youngest in tow. Starting with a great workout at the gym. On my way there though, I realized I had left the house in my slippers in the rush, and never changed into tennis shoes. So much for that workout, and so much for the opportunity to get out of the car at dropoff and be hysterically embarrassing in my slippers and sweats while inflicting extra long hugs on my wriggling daughters! 

Sigh. I’ll head home and work out there instead. I pause a moment to take in the sunshine streaming into the kitchen window, and remember that my girls asked for a batch of M&M cookies for their afterschool snack this week. As I fix a beater onto the kitchen aid mixer, I notice the open container of pirate’s booty that has been left on the counter from packing lunches the night before. As I nibble on a few, I pick up my phone to scroll the news. The screen opens to a reminder from an hour ago to put the wet laundry into the dryer.  

Walking to the downstairs laundry, I pass through the playroom to find a scene from Toys R Us-meets-Twister and start tossing things from the floor into their respective bins. When I can finally see the carpet, I’m impelled to grab the vacuum because this opportunity may never happen again. After proudly surveying my tidy, freshly vacuumed playroom, I empty the vacuum to find that the brushes have not been recently cleared of all the hair entangled in them, so I go to get a screwdriver to take it apart and give it a thorough cleaning, rinsing out the filter and everything.  

While I’m downstairs by the chest freezer I might as well get out some chicken to thaw for dinner tonight, and when I do, I notice we’re running low on the required stockpile of butter that we keep in the freezer – forgive my husband; he’s from Wisconsin and this sort of impending tragedy gives him a panic attack. So, I open my grocery app to put more in my cart. Which reminds me – have I checked to be sure my King Soopers Community Rewards are going to Bethany Lutheran MOPS?? Better check. 

Browsing the grocery app makes me hungry. Somehow it is lunchtime, after all. Maybe I’ll get that workout in during Caroline’s nap. Speaking of which, where HAS my toddler been this whole time??  

She is, of course, taking out all the toys in the playroom – with shoes on – on the formerly clean carpet. She must have walked through fresh mulch on our way in the door this morning. Sigh. I go to get the vacuum again but find it, of course, dismantled. Right. I cleaned it so thoroughly that it still needs to dry. The clothes dryer has stopped, but there’s no time to fold them while they’re warm and de-wrinkle because I need to go feed my child lunch. Back to the kitchen where she nibbles exactly one bite of each overpriced organic slice of fruit, one bite of whole grain cracker, one bite of peeled and sliced cucumber, and one bite of individually packaged hormone free grass-fed cheese which is the only kind any of my kids will eat. I’m not an uppity mom, my kids just have very specific tastes, and I’m a sucker for a full kid tummy. 

Well, I made it to nap time and by now I figure I could finish the laundry, bake the cookies, clean up the playroom again, OR accomplish that workout… but first I need a nap. Because chances are, if you give a mama a cookie recipe, I’m going to need a vacuum, a screwdriver, and… while I’m looking for that, where is that unopened package of chicken? Don’t worry. I’ll find it a few days later, fully thawed and even a little bit cooked sitting on top of the dryer.