When you’re not so prepared, lean on her.
I was the type of mom that was overly prepared during my pregnancy. I read every book I could get my hands on. I knew what size the baby was each week, and even took a long and very detailed birth class in the hopes that I would be prepared.
A few weeks before my due date, it hit me. I was so focused on being prepared for that big, special day, that I didn’t really think about what came afterwards. An actual baby was on the way — one that I was going to be completely responsible for.
On top of that, my husband and I decided to wait until the baby was born to find out whether baby was a boy or girl. So, you can imagine the unpreparedness that came along with that, no name, nothing up on the walls, and no pink in the closet.
The moms that surrounded me assured me that my instincts would kick in and that babies didn’t need much. I held on to that hope.
Fast forward a few weeks...
The day my daughter was born was the best day of our entire lives. Exhausting. Magical. I had no idea my heart was even capable of this kind of love.
We went home early Saturday morning, and I remember simply snuggling her all day long and crying so many tears of joy. I couldn’t put this precious little human down.
Then, evening rolled around, and we decided to head to bed. We locked the front door, brushed our teeth, and did all the bedtime routine things, just like we did the last time we were home.
We both walked into the bedroom and looked at our sweet girl who lay on the middle bed.
What do we do with the baby?
I look back now and feel like this is such a silly question, but it was such a real question. I had no idea what to do with this baby. In the hospital, they were popping in and out so much, telling me different things to do, that we didn’t really have a normal night.
I started to panic. How many layers does she need? Is she supposed to wear a hat to bed? Do we swaddle her? Belly? Back? Bassinet? Co-sleeping? How in the world am I supposed to set her down after holding her all day long?!
Related Post: Making Mom Friends
Inadequacy set in. I am not good enough.
I decided to call my friend, who had a baby just a couple months before me. I cried. A lot. I went on and explained to her how I did not prepare well enough, nor did I have any idea what to do going forward. I didn’t read enough books. And there was no way I could cram them all in now.
She was so calm and so sweet. She was sympathetic. She had been there too. She walked me through my different options. I went and found a Velcro swaddle, turned on the sound machine, and put her down in the bassinet. I crawled into bed. I wasn’t so sure how the night would go and knew baby girl would be up soon, but I felt a strange peace, because I knew I wasn’t alone.
And guess what, I wasn’t. That same sweet friend texted me in the middle of the night, when we were both up with our babies. She continued that, for many more nights. I leaned on her, and she was there for me.
My dear, sweet friend. My encourager. My cheerleader. I chose to be vulnerable; I leaned on her, and she was there for me.
Whether you’re rocking a newborn to bed, potty training your toddler, homeschooling, balancing work and motherhood, teaching your teenager to drive, or sending your baby off to college, it’s hard to let that wall down and reveal just how inadequate we feel in the different roles of our lives.
Let us choose to be vulnerable with her, that sweet friend – letting her in on the deepest parts of our hearts and what we’re really going through – not just the social media worthy moments.
Lean on her.
Kendra Elliott
IG: @kendrageorgia
Table Leader @ Bethany MOPS in Puyallup, Washington
Kendra is a wife and mother of a sweet little one year old. Kendra has a deep love for words and a deep love for Him, and enjoys writing and speaking encouragement to those around her.
WANT TO FEEL EQUIPPED TO BE THE BEST MOM YOU CAN BE?
JOIN THE MOMCO FOR COMMUNITY, EMPOWERMENT, AND MORE.